Friends are not always fans

By Nicole Dennis  

               Are friends expected to serve as fans in support of their friends’ jobs, hobbies or side projects?
               Before the question can be answered, there has to be an understanding of what the question is asking. In order to discuss the topic, the word choices in the statements have to be defined. The words that are of most importance are “friend,” “fan,” and “expect.” According to Merriam-Webster, “friend” has two different definitions. One definition of “friend” means one attached to another by affection or esteem, while the other definition states that a friend is one who favors or promotes something. The latter definition is similar to one of a “fan,” in that a fan is described as an ardent (feeling support) admirer or enthusiast. These two definitions are characterized by the differences in relationships. A relationship is the connection between participants, or a passionate attachment. However, one defines their relationship with another individual leads to the expectations set forth in the relationship. To “expect” means to consider probable, certain, reasonable, due, or necessary.
               We all have examples of endeavors that we decided to partake in, hoping that support from  friends. For example, in talking with a co-worker of mine, we discussed his summer plans and how a portion of his summer employment would be mowing lawns for extra cash. When he started this ‘job,’ he expected much of his clientele would be made up of associates who knew of him through either his friends or his family. He assumed that his friends and his family would support him. To him, if the job is one that is reasonable and one that he is clearly passionate about, then his friends should support him because they don’t necessarily have a reason not to.  On the other end of the spectrum, he said that if his friends did choose not to show support him that would be because of his friends’ understandings that his endeavors were beyond his capabilities and their support as friends would not be authentic.  
               Friends have general expectations of support, love, trust and reliance. Depending on the level of the friendship, expectations differ and have more certainty where the friendship stands. Close friends are those who know us best and partake in different, but important, levels of honesty with one another. In a friendship, loyalty and honesty could be considered first cousins. Without the ability to be honest with someone how could one be loyal to them? The absence of both of these characteristics working together in a relationship, leads to a lack of ‘support’, ultimately leaving unreasonable burdens on a ‘friend’ if these expectations aren’t honestly discussed with one another.  
               Friends and fans differ in that a fan is a follower of another’s work or talent because they genuinely enjoy it. I think friends should support other friends in their endeavors, if they believe and see the value of these ‘side projects.’ Actual friends shouldn’t pressure one another into supporting something that they do not find enjoyable out of loyalty. Being a fan lacks the interpersonal relationship that comes with a true friendship, which will always be the most important difference between the two. 

 










 



 
       


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