Friends are not always fans
By Nicole Dennis
Are friends expected to serve as fans in
support of their friends’ jobs, hobbies or side projects?
Before the question can be answered, there has to be an understanding of what the question is asking. In order to discuss the topic, the word choices in the statements have to be defined. The words that are of most importance are “friend,” “fan,” and “expect.” According to Merriam-Webster, “friend” has two different definitions. One definition of “friend” means one attached to another by affection or esteem, while the other definition states that a friend is one who favors or promotes something. The latter definition is similar to one of a “fan,” in that a fan is described as an ardent (feeling support) admirer or enthusiast. These two definitions are characterized by the differences in relationships. A relationship is the connection between participants, or a passionate attachment. However, one defines their relationship with another individual leads to the expectations set forth in the relationship. To “expect” means to consider probable, certain, reasonable, due, or necessary.
Before the question can be answered, there has to be an understanding of what the question is asking. In order to discuss the topic, the word choices in the statements have to be defined. The words that are of most importance are “friend,” “fan,” and “expect.” According to Merriam-Webster, “friend” has two different definitions. One definition of “friend” means one attached to another by affection or esteem, while the other definition states that a friend is one who favors or promotes something. The latter definition is similar to one of a “fan,” in that a fan is described as an ardent (feeling support) admirer or enthusiast. These two definitions are characterized by the differences in relationships. A relationship is the connection between participants, or a passionate attachment. However, one defines their relationship with another individual leads to the expectations set forth in the relationship. To “expect” means to consider probable, certain, reasonable, due, or necessary.
We
all have examples of endeavors that we decided to partake in, hoping that
support from friends. For example, in
talking with a co-worker of mine, we discussed his summer plans and how a
portion of his summer employment would be mowing lawns for extra cash. When he
started this ‘job,’ he expected much of his clientele would be made up of
associates who knew of him through either his friends or his family. He assumed
that his friends and his family would support him. To him, if the job is one
that is reasonable and one that he is clearly passionate about, then his
friends should support him because they don’t necessarily have a reason not
to. On the other end of the spectrum, he
said that if his friends did choose not to show support him that would be
because of his friends’ understandings that his endeavors were beyond his
capabilities and their support as friends would not be authentic.
Friends
have general expectations of support, love, trust and reliance. Depending on
the level of the friendship, expectations differ and have more certainty where
the friendship stands. Close friends are those who know us best and partake in
different, but important, levels of honesty with one another. In a friendship,
loyalty and honesty could be considered first cousins. Without the ability to
be honest with someone how could one be loyal to them? The absence of both of these
characteristics working together in a relationship, leads to a lack of
‘support’, ultimately leaving unreasonable burdens on a ‘friend’ if these
expectations aren’t honestly discussed with one another.
Friends
and fans differ in that a fan is a follower of another’s work or talent because
they genuinely enjoy it. I think friends should support other friends in their
endeavors, if they
believe and see the value of these ‘side projects.’ Actual friends shouldn’t
pressure one another into supporting something that they do not find enjoyable
out of loyalty. Being a fan lacks the interpersonal relationship that comes
with a true friendship, which will always be the most important difference
between the two.
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