It's time to engage and "get real"

By Sarah Massengale

 The voice on the other end of the call released a long, expressive sigh.  This was the third or fourth one, and he was clearly far from pleased with me.  We’d been having “reputation management” discussions off and on for months now, but what I’d actually been doing was trying to convince him his frustrated rants about the hardships of being a blind harpsichordist in a sighted world had no place on social media.  At least, they didn’t if he ever wanted to be noticed.  Then he said the words that shattered my little bubble of public relations training: “Why can’t I just be real?” 

Why couldn’t he just be real? Why did I expect him to create a persona designed to entice people rather than having human-to-human conversations about the hardship he experienced.  Here’s the difficult truth, because that’s what society demanded of him as a musician and of me as the friend and sister who counseled him about all things related to his image.  He must sell himself like the next shallow-minded influencer or write his post is short bursts of thought and sentiment like the latest clickbait headline.  In short, to be noticed, he had to create engaged fans rather than caring friends.  There was something fundamentally broken in that thought. 

A few weeks later, I was making my way through a reading assignment for a media relations class when I came across a thought that would stop me in my tracks.  The author was expressing frustrations that even public relations people now had to be media trained, because people no longer have any idea how to talk to one another.  This is, of course, thanks to the absurd amount of time we spend behind our screens.  We’d rather just email to take care of this or that crisis, watch that really cute cat video, toss GIFs or emojis at someone instead of writing words, and the list goes on.  Here’s the thing though, while we’re living this fake life where everything is bright and sunny and perfect — this life where other people don’t exist beyond our phones or computers — the world is passing us by. 

That’s right, Millennial in the back row of the classroom staring at your Insta-feed because you don’t have the attention span to get through this column, I’m talking to you.  So, how about you put down your phone and pay attention for a minute.  I hear you.  Life sucks, and you have to escape.  I can’t relate to my family either.  I’m the first one to go to college, and I live in the middle of no where in rural South Carolina.  Social media’s easier than real life, isn’t it? 

Before you take that easy way out though, think about a few things.  First, research shows that we humans need contact with one another.  We literally can’t survive without it.  Second, finding conversational common ground might seem like a chore, but it really isn’t as hard as you might think.  I’m a classically trained opera singer and certified music snob, but I can talk college football just as enthusiastically as the next sports fan.  You can find commonality, too, but the first step is getting out of your comfortable digital box. 

Shakespeare said it best when he wrote in A Midsummer Night’s Dream, “What fools these mortals be!”  We are fools, you know, shallow-minded egocentric fools obsessed with self-branding and unattainable ideals, but it’s not too late.  To that end, here’s my challenge for you.  Step out from behind that screen and make a point of finding someone whose life experience is different from your own.  Then, just sit down next to them and chat.  It’ll be awkward at first, but who knows, maybe you’ll learn something you never knew.  Maybe even, if you’re really lucky, you’ll make a friend outside of the digital world who is prepared to let you be real.